2009 Saturday League

Lucas Fettes & Partners Norfolk Cricket League Division 1

Date	Opponents	Scores	Result	Points	Average	League Position
02/05/09	Rollesby (A)	Caister 167- 10, Rollesby 168 - 3	Caister lost by 7 Wickets	5	5	10
09/05/09	Kirkley Sports (A)	Caister 200 - 9, Kirkley Sports 149 - 10	Caister won by 51 runs	26	15.5	5
16/05/09	Drayton (H)	Drayton 40-10, Caister 44 -2	Caister win by 8 wickets	22	17.67	4
23/05/09	Shipdham (A)	Shipdham 214 - 5, Caister 215 - 6	Caister win by 4 wickets	23	19	3
30/05/09	Ketteringham Hall (H)	Ketteringham Hall 175 - 10, Caister 176 - 9	Caister win by 1 wicket	25	20.2	2
6/6/09	Drayton (A)	Caister 264 - 4, Drayton 195 - 5	Caister win 69 runs	23	20.67	2
13/06/09	Aldborough (A)	Caister 134 - 9, Aldborough 138 - 2	Caister lost by 8 wickets	4	18.29	3
20/06/09	Kirkley Sports (H)	Caister 144 - 10, Kirkley Sports 137 - 10	Caister won by 7 runs	24	19	3
27/06/09	Great Yarmouth (A)	Yarmouth 161 - 10, Caister 124 - 10	Caister lose by 37 runs	8	17.78	4
04/07/09	Hardingham (H)	Caister 108 - 10, Hardingham 112 -1	Caister lose by 9 wickets	2	16.2	4
11/07/09	Hardingham (A)	Hardingham 227 - 5, Caister 124 - 10	Caister lose by 91 runs	5	15.18	4
18/07/09	Rollesby (H)	Rain forces match abandonment	No Result	N/A	15.18	4
25/07/09	Winterton (H)	Caister 168 - 9, Winterton 107 - 10	Caister win by 61 runs	25	16	4
01/08/09	Winterton (A)	Rain forces match abandonment	No Result	N/A	16	4
08/08/09	Shipdham (H)	Caister 128 - 10, Shipdham 60 - 10	Caister win by 68 runs	23		4
15/08/09	Kettetingham Hall (A)	Caister 192 - 8, ketteringham Hall 193 - 6	Caister lose by 4 wickets	7	15.86	4
22/08/09	Great Yarmouth (H)	Great Yarmouth 159 - 10, Caister 154 - 10	Caister lose by 5 runs	8	15.33	4
29/08/09	Aldborough (H)	Caister 98 - 10, Aldborough 99 - 1	Caister lose by 9 wickets	2	14.5	4

Saturday 16th May 2009

Caister entertained Drayton for their first home league game of the season and a damp pitch from overnight rain meant that the toss could be crucial. The team were expecting the worst as skipper Sims has been described as the worst tosser in cricket. However for once he won and inserted the opposition. Opening the bowling for Caister were skipper Sims and the bowling set of bagpipes Chris Bartram. After one of the worst opening overs in his life Barty soon settled into a good rythym and picked up the first wicket of Howes caught by the skipper at Mid On. This started a run of wickets with only Mike Breame making double figures. A mixture of good bowling and poor shots accounted for these wickets probably assisted some mind games by their own team. Bowling into the force 9 gale Tim Sims took 2- 14 whilst Barty took 4 - 21. Turbo Tennant and Brains replaced the opening bowlers and polished off the 4 remaining wickets for only 3 runs in 5 overs to leave Drayton all out for 40. Special mention must go to Churchy for 4 dismissals, one with an excellent catch and 2 stumpings - however the batsmen must have heard the juke box start as both went moon dancing.

Tea was not taken and the openers took the field to knock off the small total. The ever dependable Stokes was joined by Mark 'Ted' Johnson after his recent run of form (2 games constitutes a run of form for Ted) and they started well until the 7th over when Ted was bowled by Mario Ghae for 14. However it would have helped if Ted hadn't played the cover drive at fresh air instead of the ball! Slasher Sims started with good intent with a hard hit boundary until his forceful forward defence was caught by the following through bowler Mario Ghae. With twin brother Rupert having an exam in computing despite not knowing what BASIC and JPEG stood for, Chubbo stood up to the task and with Stokesy saw the team to the required and an early finish. The low score probably was not a true reflection of the pitch as the following day it was used again, despite heavy overnight rain and the score considerably different - see report on MNSCL.

Saturday 23rd May 2009 - Shipdham (A) Caister win by 4 wickets

Caister travelled to their bogey ground over the past few years at Shipdham hoping to continue their recent run of form.  Having turned up with a depleted team as Captain Crimefighter was away in London to see Mama Mia (big girl, wuss, or softy as the team were implying) and Pies suffering from a terminal hangover. Another week the team was Kerrisonless, Jim finishing writing his autobiography, Mabel in australia finishing writing the alphabet for the first time (might be able to teach the rest of them over there now!) and Pies finishing writing his letter to Santa!

Looking at the pitch winning the toss and batting would be ideal. However stand in skipper Stokesy lost and the Caister 10 were invited to a hard afternoon in the field. Opening the bowling were Chris B and Chris T, and in the 7^th over Barty picked up the first wicket of the day having Hammond caught by Phil Lamming at slip. The next wicket to fall came in the 19^th over when Brains picked up M Cator caught by Turbo Tennant at slip, with the score on 48. Opener Staggles and new batsman Ellis then attacked the change bowlers of Brains and Rupert, taking the score from 48 – 2 to 146 when Rupert had Staggles caught behind by Churchy. With 6 overs left Barty returned and picked up Milne for 18. Turbo returned and between them kept the last 5 overs to 30 runs, with Turbo picking up the wicket J Hunt with an LBW decision. Shipdham finished on 214 – 5 off their allotted 45 overs to set a competitive total. Barty finished with figures of 12 - 0 - 39 - 2, Turbo 11 - 1 - 34 - 1, Brains 11 - 0 - 69 - 1 and Rupert 11 - 0 - 63 - 1. Another good day behind the stumps by Churchy with no byes. (£5 please Churchy for the mention - I have to make a living somehow - the price of Stella has gone up after the last budget!)

Opening the batting for Caister were Stokesy and Phil Lamming, and like the previous time these two opened together Stokesy made a duck, at least he lasted nearly the first over. Rupert decided to attack any loose balls and the total accelerated to 86 when he was bowled by Ellis for 51. This then meant that after weeks of loving care knocking it in Ted could use his new £140 bat for the first time. The ink was barely dry in the score book before Ted was retuning back to the pavilion. He managed to make his innings last a little longer that it would have been by walking off to square leg to do some loosening up exercises. In fairness to Ted he got a good ball – pitching off stump running straight into middle stump with no swing or seam movement, normally enough to trouble Ted! His innings lasted a total of one ball and the bat still remains a virgin, untouched by leather! The shot was awful though, Ted trying the KP flick to square leg. The closest he got to KP was one their nuts! (£5 please Ted - I could have made this a lot worse for you!)

New Batsman Chubbo joined Phil Lamming before Phil was bowled by Ellis in exactly the same manner as Rupert and Ted for a fine 43. The old head of brains joined Chubbo and took the score from 102 – 4 to 185 -5, when Chubbo was run out for what appeared the second time, Ted in no position to give the first one as he was running the wrong way. Chubbo scored a good 35. Brains and Windmill Bartram took the score to 202 when the shattered Brains was run out for 42. Turbo promoted himself over Churchy as he had ice running through his veins, closely followed by Jack Daniels and Coke! and with 2 overs left and 13 runs required, Turbo and Barty knocked off the runs with 3 balls to spare to start some wild celebrations.

Saturday 30^th May 2009 – Caister beat Ketteringham Hall by 1 wicket

Caister played their 5^th game of the season and only their second so far at home. The useless tosser Tim Sims lost the toss and Ketteringham Hall elected to bat on what looked a good pitch. Opening the bowling for Caister were Captain Crimefighter back from his weekend away watching musicals and Caister’s own Boston Strangler, Frenchy. Ketteringham Hall’s opener did a Jim Kerrison and left a straight one to give Tim his first wicket. Fellow opener Smith played across a straight one and was LBW also to Tim. 2 balls later Stokesy took a great catch at slip, he must of thought it was a pork pie heading to him! At 25 – 3 Ketteringham Hall were in trouble. However the wickets dried up until Brains picked up the wicket of Smith for 22. He then picked up the wicket of Bush bowling him for 19.  Walker and Howes steadied the ship until Walker fell for 33 caught and bowled. Bartram came on at the death and picked up 3 wickets and Tim another for 4 – 35. The innings finished in the 45^th over on 175. There was one pice of ridiculous cricket from of all people, Captian Crimefighter, when after the batsman had completed 3 runs decided from 10 yards to throw the ball as hard as he could at Churchy's feet who by this time was having a 'mare behind the stumps, and could not stop it, needless to say it was like Mabel against CEYMS, or Frenchy (pick any game from about 100) the ball sped past Churchy to the boundary for a 7 - first time this writer has seen it.

Caister’s reply started with Stokesy and Phil Lamming taking the score to 33 when Stokesy was caught behind from a short pitched delivery for 12.  Phil played on for 19 and Rupert played a crap shot to the spinner Bush. Sims played another crap shot and was dismissed for 8. Enter Ted, last week out first ball using his new bat, could he improve this week? Ted stood up to the challenge and delivered with some style. He lost partner Chubbo – to another crap shot (a theme developing here!) for nought – hero last week, zero this week! The Boston Strangler helped him to advance the score until he fell, wait for it, to a crap shot! Brains lasted 5 balls for 0, hero to zero in a week like Chubbo, to possibly another crap shot and was replaced by Barty. Ted finally fell to Bush for well crafted 59, Bush’s 5^th wicket when he finally managed to turn one.  With the score on 145 – 8 Caister were struggling, Barty gave Churchy some sound advice, and he promptly ignored it and holed out to yet another crap shot. 145 – 9 and in Dire Straights, enter the man who the previous week had ice running through his veins, Turbo. This week however it was liquid nitrogen running through his veins and proceeded with last week’s hero partner to get to the total. With 6 overs left and 31 runs required could they do it again? Turbo using his years of wisdom and Barty using youth and exuberance started to work at the total. Turbo taking singles and Barty counting 3 dot balls and hitting the 4^th for a 4. They slowly but surely and calmly took Caister within 7 runs and one over left. Barty hit the first for a single, Turbo received a high no ball and then hit the next for a single, 4 runs required! Barty decided that the space at deep long off was ideal to place for the ball and that is what he did and for boundary to complete a memorable win for the Lifeboatmen. Barty finished on 25 not out and Turbo 6 not out. Let's cut out those crap shots boys and it would be a lot easier.

Saturday 6^th June 2009 Caister beat Drayton by 69 runs

Caister travelled to Drayton to find a good hard pitch that screamed bat first and score 265. Tim finally won the toss and sent openers Richard Stokes and Phil Lamming to do the business. Stokesy and Lammo found it easy to score and soon hit top form. Both were making it looking very easy and both made their half centuries. They both were hitting the balls to all parts of the field with some brilliant shots and it was not until the 37^th over with the score on 178 that Stokesy finally had enough and was caught by Kay in the deep off the bowling of Breame for 78. Rupert joined Lammo and made his intentions clear by hitting the first ball he faced for 4. In the 41^st over Lammo on 99 was dropped by Breame in the deep, who in the process dislocated his knee, and Phil not the sentimental type ran an extra one to reach 101, and his maiden century for Caister. However 2 balls later he was out and was replaced by Captain Crimefighter. Tim only made 3 before he was well caught by Soanes and was replaced by the previous weeks hero. Ted after his heroics the previous week looked ready for it, and at this point the editor is wondering how to put it, but the best option is to read the report of his innings at Shipdham as it was exactly the same – however it didn’t last quite as long as he didn’t do his loosening up exercises at square leg – the golden duck count this year stands at 2 each for Ted and Churchy! Chubbo joined his brother but Rupert was already in the zone and finished on 46 not out and Caister on 264 – 4. One run short of a good total.

Caister took to the field and started brightly with Windmill and Sims both hitting the deck hard. But opener Breame , despite his injury was hitting the ball harder. He made 54 before holing out to Stokesy off the bowling of Brains with the score on 79. The pace attack (if you can count Turbo as part of it!) were not looking threatening and spin looked the best option. Brains took another wicket to finish with 2 – 32, and was replaced by fellow left armer Stokesy. Between them they took the 5 wickets to fall and Drayton finished on 195 – 5. Opener Wright made a fine 73 for Drayton and Taylor a belligerent 23 not out to make their score more respectable. Ball magnet Chubbo took another catch to take his current total for the season to 9.

Saturday 13^th June – Aldborough (A) or is it Aldeburgh? Caister lost by 8 wickets

The Caister team travelled to Aldborough near the lovely North Norfolk Coast, well most of the team did! Phil ‘Buckets’ Holmes had decided the beautiful Suffolk coast beckoned and headed to Aldeburgh 76 miles from his team mates, an easy mistake to make you would have thought, but as they are spelt differently and one isn’t even in the Norfolk cricket league this may have been one the biggest mistakes in the history of Caister Cricket Club. This could keep the team amused for some time and Buckets will be reminded of this for years to come.

Just to remind Buckets that next week’s game is at home. That’s Caister near Great Yarmouth, not Caistor in Lincolnshire.

Captain Crimefighter won the toss and elected to bat. With Captain Birdseye not requiring the services of the 2 Browns, and Frenchy replacing Phil Lamming, who had gone to London to watch some show (the big girl!) Caister fielded a strong side. With Buckets still lost in the wrong county the Captain was looking for a potential opener to partner the ever dependable Richard Stokes. With no one looking a likely contender he elected to do the job himself. With the score on 1 Captain Crimefighter regretted this decision as he got a golden duck when he decided that the fishing season would open a couple of days early – just 1 behind Ted and Churchy in the golden duck stakes now. Rupert replaced him and had made 3 when he was caught at mid on to a crap shot when a big score was needed from him. Brother Chubbo joined Stokesy and they managed to take the score to 33 when Chubbo played a crap shot and was caught for 18. Ted made a good 23 before he played round a straight one (again!!) and Brains made 8. Stokesy meanwhile was struggling to pick up the pace of the pitch before he fell for 24. Frenchy waltzed off with Turbo’s bat and was going well but lost partner Barty for duck. Turbo had to go in as Holmesy was about 5 minutes away when he had to turn back as his girlfriend was being dropped off in Aldeburgh in Suffolk. Frenchy was abusing Turbo’s bat and refused to return it to him. Turbo using his spare bat broke the toe hitting the ball into the ground, but was saved further discomfort when Frenchy finally took a wild swing at one and was bowled. Turbo reunited with his legendary bat hit a few at the end but the innings ended on 134 in the 44^th over. Churchy was given huge cheer when he avoided his 3^rd golden duck on the trot and again when he got off the mark.

Opening the bowling for Caister was Ted, sorry Tim, you would have thought it was Ted considering how wide it was! Barty opened the other end. Chances were hard to come by and trigger finger was not co-operating with his umpiring. Brains replaced Tim and was bowling a good line and length but was taken apart in his 3^rd over. Turbo replaced Barty and should have had opener Cooper caught by Frenchy at mid-wicket, unfortunately Frenchy had spotted the EDP photographer and decided that this catch was going to be no ordinary one. So in his best Rocky Horror Show dance moves he did a step to the right, and then a step to the left, some pelvic thrusts and dived full length, at some point during all this he then thought he was goalkeeper and parried the ball round the post at full length. Tim returned and picked up the wicket of Allan when Ted took a stunning catch in the deep. Turbo toiled at the other end was unlucky when Churchy missed a straight forward catch when going the wrong way and an LBW decision that was not given – there some ironic justice in that it hurt the batsman! Rupert took the wicket of Reeve and that was good as it got for Caister. In fact the situation was so bad Ted was allowed to bowl and even made into his second over before bowling his obligatory wide and ended the innings.

Saturday 20^th June 2009 Caister beat Kirkley Sports by 7 runs

Caister entertained Kirkley Sports on a cloudy afternoon that threatened rain at times. Caister lost the toss and were invited to bat first on the dry pitch. Opening for Caister were Stokesy and Buckets, who had managed to find the right ground after last weeks mystery tour in Suffolk. With the score on 9 Caister lost Buckets when he was bowled by Holmes and was replaced by Danger, who was making his first appearance of the season.  On 26 Stokesy became Holmes’s  second victim to bring Captain Crimefighter to the crease. During this phase of play the first shower appeared and threatened to ruin the afternoon. After about a one hour delay the match restarted and these 2 took the score to 71 when Tim was dismissed for 27. Ted made only 8 and was replaced by Brains. On 120 Dangerman departed for 39, bowled by Tuttle. Brains continued to hit the ball to all parts especially using the front foot to mid wicket and slapping the ball to point. He finally fell for 34 but the tail failed to wag and the innings finished on 144.

Opening the bowling for Caister were Captain Crimefighter and Turbo. In the now slippery conditions grip was a problem and this may have caused a later injury. In his first over Tim accounted for Mcalone caught by Churchy. In his 3 rd over he accounted for Carrol, caught by Buckets.  At the start of Turbo’s 9^th over he pulled up when his calf muscle went like an overtuned banjo string. Replaced by Brains he took the wicket of Laws and picked up 3 more wickets. With one great catch by Ted off one the worst deliveries of the afternoon. Ted previously had dropped a sitter when he tried to do a Frenchy and make it look spectacular. Tim came back for a second spell and took 2 wickets, including the wicket of the dangerous Tuttle. Pies replaced Brains and picked up the wicket of Cross, with the aid of a spectacular catch from of all people, Ted. Possibly the catch of the century so far (£5 please)!. With 2 wickets needed and only 7 runs required it was going to be tight. But the man of moment struck. Ted, after his 3 catches then took 2 wickets to complete a momentous victory – at 9:15, and valuable drinking time at a minimum.

Saturday 27^th June 2009 – Caister lose to Great Yarmouth by 37 runs

Caister only had to travel to the Beaconsfield to play their local rivals. Captain Crimefighter won the toss and elected to field first hoping to get the best out of a poor pitch. With Turbo out injured, Barty allegedly in the states (you were seen though!) Pies unable to bowl and Dangermouse not bothering to turn up, bowling options were limited so Ted opened with Tim. Caister took the first wicket on 12 when Tim had Sole well caught by Phil Lamming. Marty Hewitt took the wicket of S Ruddick again with a great catch by Lammo. He took another wicket when Tim took the catch.  Brains bowled well up to a point, the point being when he was called for a no ball incorrectly and the wheels came off the wagon. Stokesy picked up 4 wickets and Tim and Ted picked up another each to finish the Yarmouth innings on 161.

After the first innings the pitch looked something Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin would have been proud to land on with craters everywhere. Stokesy and Phil Lamming opened and wished they hadn’t as White was extracting some erratic bounces from the pitch. Both fell cheaply to lifters but Mark Johnson steadied the ship as Captain Crimefighter  took the attack to the opposition with some lusty blows but fell for 35 when well caught on the boundary. Holmesy (turning up at the right ground 2 weeks running) fell for 1 and Brains had made 15 when bowled by shooter. Pies got a duck, followed by his mate Random, who had elected to bat 3 feet down the pitch to the bowler when the keeper was standing up to the stumps – no surprise to hear he was stumped for a golden duck. Churchy hit a great slip drive for 4 but fell soon after. Marty Hewitt got a duck to leave Ted stranded on 49 not out and Caister all out on 124. Maybe Caister should have batted first!

Saturday 4^th July 2009 – Caister lost to Hardingham by 9 wickets

At approximately 13:10, whilst Turbo was finishing the preparations, most of the Hardingham team had turned up at Caister, it was a pity then to find that the Caister team didn’t turn up all afternoon. Captain Crimefighter lost the toss and Caister were surprised to have first use of the flat looking pitch, probably on the assumption that the opposition skipper didn’t know what to make of it. Stokesy and Phil Lamming opened the batting against the young Howes and the quick Goodrum. In the 3^rd over Stokes fell for a duck when stumped off the bowling of Howes when he fell over out of his crease. Phil lamming got into double figure when he decided that he would give some catching practice to the keeper. Buckets and skipper Sims took the score to 31 when Buckets fell for 1. Sims lashed out in his own style; with one hook in particular that deserves a mention. Goodrum banged the ball in short and fast at his body and he decided that he would hook it, with his eyes shut, head facing the wrong way, and nearly on his arse. Not quite coming out of the middle of the bat it went into the stratosphere before returning to earth with enough spin on it that when it finally hit the ground to roll over the boundary. The skipper then decided that he would take on Howes and hit for 3 fours in one over before playing one shot too many and was caught behind for 26. Pies was promoted up the order as Ted still hadn’t turned up – he was working in a bank, or that was what it sounded like over the phone, but your guess is as good as mine on that, and proceeded to bat like Ted, taking 25 balls to get off the mark. Brains hit a couple of boundaries but again he played one shot too many and was caught with the score on 51. Ted by this time had arrived and together with Pies tried to rebuild the innings. On 77 Pies fell for 18 and was replaced by Barty (apologies for the remark the previous week, but Emma needs to go to specsavers!) who made 1 before playing a crap shot (like most of the previous wickets to be fair to him) Turbo then decided he would join in this not so elite group and played an even worse shot after getting into a great position to play it. Marty Hewitt hit a great leg slip drive before missing a straight one to leave the last 6 overs for Ted and churchy to see out. However Ted decided that he would play round a straight one and was bowled for 30 and Caister’s innings finished on 108. Ted did play a good innings, with some exquisite drives, and made sure everyone knew about it at the end. The total was at least 100 short of a good score, but to be fair to the opposition, they did bowl well.

Captain Crimefighter was in no mood to go down without a fight and surprised everyone by opening the bowling with himself and Brains. In the second over a piece of inspired captaincy bought the wicket of Howes. On the first delivery Fowle hit the ball to Sims who misfielded and they took the single to Turbo in the deep. Sims swapped placed with Turbo who then stopped the next shot in exactly the same place where Sims had one ball earlier screwed up. The next ball saw Howes try to hit the ball into Braddock road but could only find Sims on the boundary, who had replaced Turbo there. Duckham was dropped off the bowling of Sims by of all people Buckets and this was going to prove costly. Various bowling options were tried, and failed, and the score was increasing at quite a rate. Barty and Turbo toiled away but nothing was happening and Ted after having a good day with the bat was now having a bit of a mare in the field as what appeared to be 50% of the total had gone through him, past him or over him, and most of the time he threw the ball to Barty it was either over him, well to the left or right but mostly bouncing 3 feet in front of him.  Turbo was given the mission to bowl a good enough over to allow Phil Lamming to bowl his first over for Caister. Phil’s debut over could have easily picked 3 wickets – if Caister had 20 fielders! And Turbo tried to do it again. However Marty Hewitt had seen enough of Phil’s bowling and had other ideas. What happened next pretty much summed up Caister’s afternoon. Fowle hit the ball to Marty at Mid wicket who in one movement, picked up the ball and threw towards the non-strikers end for what would have been a great run out. Barty backing up the stumps looked on in horror as the ball flew well over the stumps and out of his reach for 4 overthrows and the end of the game.

Saturday 11^th July 2009 – Caister lost to Hardingham by 91 runs

Caister’s mid season slump continued on the return trip to Hardingham. After a heavy defeat the previous week to the same team, the lifeboatmen were looking for improvements in all departments. Caister won the toss and Captain Crimefighter elected to field first, on the assumption that if we did, the rain might save us later. The skipper opened the bowling from one end and Pies was impersonating a bowler at the other. The opposition openers got off to a flyer with Howes making amends for his duck the previous week, quickly reaching 47 before being caught by Stokesy off the bowling of Turbo Tennant in the 16^th over. In the next over from Barty he accounted for the other opener Fowle for 15 with the score on 76 by clean bowling him. Duckham made 11 before Turbo accounted for his wicket when Captain Crimefighter eventually woke up and decided that he should catch the ball that was heading straight for him, making it look as spectacular as possible he dropped it, caught it, dropped it and then caught it – a career in the circus awaits Mr Sims! Harris made 11 when Pies went airborne to take another catch off the bowling of Turbo. To say the catch was spectacular maybe an understatement as not only was Norwich air traffic control alerted on their RADAR but several flights were diverted around this unidentified flying object on their screens. He yelled out in amazement/celebration before the ball had even reached the palm of his hand, before falling to earth without the aid of a parachute. The landing was heavy though (like anyone was expecting Pies to do a light one!), and seismologists are still trying to figure out what happened at Hardingham, where they detected the epicentre of a minor quake. Meanwhile Brains was bowling without much success as the batsmen were finding too many gaps for plenty of singles and two’s. His 12 overs cost 68 runs but there was only 6 boundaries conceded. Turbo finished with slightly respectable figures of 11-1-34-3 and was replaced by the skipper who was then somewhat given some stick by the Goodrum brothers and replaced himself with the golden arm of Stokesy, who picked up the wicket of J Goodrum for 44 with the score on 201. Hardingham’s innings finished on 227 – 5.

A great tea was consumed (many thanks for those responsible, Chubbo and Stokesy thought they had died and gone to heaven!) and Caister sent out their openers Buckets and Stokesy. Buckets had made 6 before being bowled by Goodrum with the score on 9, closely followed by Stokesy who made 10, bowled by one that cut in to him by Duckham. Captain Crimefighter took the ride or die approach, the ride was short and sweet, the death quick, and made 6. In-form Ted replaced him but lost his partner Rupert who decided it was too easy, so decided to make it more difficult by playing over one for 17 with the score on 41. Brains held out for a while though, taking the score to 72 – 5 when he was bowled by Hastings. Ted in the meantime was still holding out but fell for 25 with the score on 86. Barty hit a couple of lusty blows and was replaced by the destroyer of teas – Chubbo, who was suffering with a bad back, bad shoulder, bad luck and a bad car after destroying it earlier in the day! Chubbo launched into a few and reached 14 before falling to Watts. Pies was batting with a runner, as on his earlier landing he had now damaged another part of his already frail body. Churchy made 6 before Turbo decided that he would leave a big enough gap between his bat and pad that Kerry Katona’s fat arse could have got through and was bowled. Caister finished their abject display of batting on 136 with Pies not out 23. Ted the highest scorer for the 3^rd week running. The only thing to take from this game was at least the fielding was better than the previous week.

Saturday 18th July 2009 - Match Abandoned due to Rain

The only thing worth mentioning is that the team headed out to a local pub to watch the Test Match on the big screen. However Stokesy had a wardrobe malfunction moment and was caught with something hanging out of his shorts! well done Richard. Maybe we will hear something similar from 2 of our team mates currently celebrating Pies 21st birthday in Ibiza later in the week!

Saturday 25^th July – Caister beat Winterton by 61 runs

After a recent poor run of form Caister returned to winning ways by beating league leaders Winterton by 61 runs. Stand in tosser Stokesy won and elected to have first use of the wicket.  Opening with Stokesy for the first time on a Saturday this year was Rupert, and took the attack the opening bowlers of Larner and Utting. Rupert especially was ruthless on anything over pitched and short and scored 39 before being caught by Tom Roper off the bowling of Richard Larner with the score on 59. Replacing Rupert was his twin brother Chubbo and he scored 13 before being dismissed by Tom Roper. Chubbo did not take this dismissal well and hit any inanimate object to hand including his twin brother who was now refusing to move from the scoring table. Captain Crimefighter lasted 2 balls and made a big fat duck, closely followed by Brains who also made a duck who let a ball through between his bat and pad. Frenchy purloined Turbo’s bat and gloves again and let loose the arms for a quick 8 with the score on 118. Barty took the ride or die approach and made 14 before bowled by Percival. In came Turbo after the previous nights net session was full of confidence (not!!) and made his 3^rd duck of the year. Marty Hewitt hit out with Stokesy and put on 44 to take the score to 164 when Stokesy finally fell for 61. Marty fell shortly afterwards for a good 20 and the last 2 of Churchy and Ted (who had only just returned from a drug and drink fuelled trip to Ibiza 2 hours previously) took the score to 168. Doom monger KBS spent the whole tea moaning that Caister were in for a battering. Stokesy spent the whole tea eating, and Chubbo spent it moaning to anyone would listen (he didn’t find many!!)

Opening the bowling for Caister were Captain Crimefighter and Barty, and in the 4^th over Barty struck when Churchy took a good catch behind the wicket. Frenchy replaced Barty and attempted to pitch the ball up and produced a spell of bowling that Mabel would have been proud of – at least 4 beamers!! With the score on 43 change bowler Brains took the wicket of Austin when Churchy made a sharp stumping. The skipper was steaming in from the pavilion end and was rewarded for bowling at the stumps on one of the few occasions this year by taking the wicket of G Roper for 11. He also took the wickets of Martin Witheridge and Webb and finished with excellent figures of 12-6-11-3. On a less positive note he also dropped a sitter at second slip off Barty who not best pleased with the super hero. Brains picked up a couple of wickets  in his spell and Turbo replacing the skipper also picked up a couple of wickets and reduced the opposition to 102 for 8 when batting hero Stokesy in his new guise as the new Bond villain ‘Golden Arm’ picked up the wicket of Utting. With only one wicket required and 61 runs required Ted loosened his arm – Stokesy seeing this picked up the last wicket and finished the game. Special mention must go to Ted who was barely awake in the field after the Ibiza trip and stood in at the last minute when Buckets had to call off with a bad back took a good catch. Churchy making one catch and 2 stumpings, Frenchy, Rupert, and Marty taking excellent catches also contributed to the effort. Ted also contributed by telling the team of the sexual exploits of the club alcoholic, Pies, who had pulled in Ibiza – photos are being traced as this is written,  and apparently it’s not a pretty sight!

Saturday 2nd August 2009 Match abandoned due to rain

Caister’s run in to the end of the season was ruined by inclement weather against Winterton. Losing the toss Caister were invited to bat first and soon lost Stokesy to Utting for a duck. Phil ‘the laminator’ followed soon after LBW to Larner. Rupert in the meantime felt that the hit it hard as he could approach was the one to take but lost his twin brother Chubbo for 2. Brains made the slowest 1 in history taking 17 overs. Rupert made 55 when on 70 he was caught behind. Ted and Barty took the score to 96 when Barty fell for 16. Ted and Marty2 took the score to 141 for 6 when the 45 overs were over.

Caister took to the field with both teams hoping to win the game quickly as rain was forecast. Bart took 3 quick wickets and Winterton were struggling at 48 for 3. A good catch from Ted contributed to the cause to dismiss the dangerous Clark. Turbo’s 11 overs cost 12 runs with 6 maidens. At the start of 23^rd over the rain became too heavy and the teams left the field and were not to return.

Saturday 15^th August 2009, Caister lost to Ketteringham Hall by 4 wickets

Caister travelled to the picturesque Ketteringham Hall ground looking to cement their mid table position in division 1. Stand in skipper Stokesy won the toss and decided to have first use of the pitch. Rupert opened with Stokesy and punished any loose delivery making his way to 25 before he was caught on the boundary going for another big shot when he looked set for a really big score. His father was not impressed with his son and threatened to send him to bed early with no Chinese again. Chubbo replaced him and with Stokesy took the score to 63 when Stokesy was bowled for 19. Sree struggled the scorers for one ball only and works his way up the duck hunting league. Chubbo had bragging rights in the Brown household by outscoring his brother by one run before being caught behind. Ted in the meantime was slowly accumulating runs at the other end with Frenchy at first and then Brains. Marty Hewitt and Snowy helped Ted to his 50 and finally ended on 74 not out and the team on 192 for 8.

Turbo and Frenchy opened the bowling and in the 4^th over Frenchy struck by bowling Sprong. Turbo then removed the other opener Smith when Churchy took a good leg side catch off a rank delivery. Change bowlers Snowy and Brains both took early wickets but Butler and Parsons cut loose, with Brains taking some serious punishment, his 4 overs costing 30 runs. Ted also took some stick (4 overs for 37 runs) but removed Butler for 46. Parsons kept riding his luck (dropped by Sree once when everyone expected him to pouch it!) and was finally caught in the deep by Brains off Stokesy for 67 with only one run required. The following ball it was all over and Ketteringham Hall reached the required total.

Pedestrians go the fright of their lives when Churchy opened up the Cossie and blew Turbo away at the Thickthorn Roundabout on the way home. It might be quick, but like Frenchy is still stuck in the 80’s!

Saturday 22^nd August 2009, Caister lost to Great Yarmouth by 5 runs

Caister entertained their local rivals Great Yarmouth on a very dry and dusty Caister wicket. Stokesy lost the toss and Caister were invited to spend the afternoon in the field. Opening the bowling for Caister were the returning Barty and Turbo. In the 14^th over Turbo struck when he induced Matty Sole to inside edge the ball onto his off stump. In the 16^th over Turbo struck again when Chubbo (the ball magnet) managed to take the catch in his armpit. Snowy replaced Barty and picked up the wickets of Fitzsimmonds and Doggett. With the score on 59 for 4 Caister thought they were in a good position, however Hak and Nichols had other ideas and took the score to 119 when Marty Hewitt showed tactical nous beyond his years. First he misfielded off a shot from Hak through his legs to bring Nichols on strike, all that was required to complete this masterful piece of tactics was for Stokesy to deliver one of the worst deliveries of the afternoon. 2 balls later Stokesy did so and Nichols hit the ball to deep fine leg. Marty then sprinted(?) and took a magnificent running one handed catch to complete astonishment of nearly everyone. Marty had previously been having a bit of ‘mare before with one drop and several misfields. Ted also had one piece of magic when the ball was hit skywards and as he was under it called “Ted’s, Ted’s, Ted’s, TED’S” and promptly dropped the sitter then proceeded to ask Churchy why he hadn’t called for it. Hak nearly took Chubbo’s head off with one shot, which he really should have caught rather than wimping out of it and letting the ball go for a maximum. Stokesy Picked up the wicket of Hak, who had scored 62, another victim to the ‘GoldenArm’  and followed it up with another when Churchy made an excellent stumping when not feeling at his best. Barty picked one returning at the death. With one over left and 153 on the board the target was to get to 160 and pick up the extra bonus point, with Ted bowling it bookies all over the world dropped the odds dramatically, especially when he bowled his obligatory wide. However Ted and Churchy combined to get 2 run outs and leave Great Yarmouth on 159 all out. Turbo ended up with 2 for 10 off 10 overs, Barty 1 for 39, Snowy 2 for 42 and Stokesy 3 for 23.

An excellent Mrs French Tea was consumed, which included a curry, and Caister’s opening batsmen took to the field to get the runs. Rupert and Stokesy took the score to 30 when Rupert was bowled by a ball that dropped off his belly onto the stumps for 20, if it was his brother Chubbo it might have bounced off for 4!.  Chubbo replaced his twin brother and took the score to 40 when Stokesy was bowled for 14 by Ruddick. Chubbo made 12 when he left a gap between bat and pad that the number 8 bus could have got through and was bowled by Vickers. Frenchy followed the same way for 14, and it was left to Ted and Brains to see the team home. However Brains hadn’t read the script and made his 5^th duck of the season to put pressure on Ted in the duck hunting league. Marty Hewitt joined Ted and these took the score to 125 before Ted decided that his batting average was too high and got himself out for 44. Snowy made only 3 before being caught and Marty followed soon after for a good 27. Barty decided that his ride or die approach would make one more appearance before his departure to the cricketing backwater of Montana and he holed out for 7. It was left to Turbo and Churchy to get the final 7 runs to win. Turbo cut the first ball of the last over to deep point and picked up a single and leave Churchy to be a hero. Churchy then went a bit mental and thought he was Rupert and tried to clear the ATC hut. He only managed to find Vickers who took the catch to leave Caister 5 runs short of Great Yarmouth’s total. Churchy now joins Ted and Brains in the duck hunting league with 5 points.