IBIZA TOUR DIARY

DAY 1 - SUNDAY 3RD SEPTEMBER 2006

HEADLINES: TURBO TENNANT COLLPASES IN STRIP CLUB AFTER ONE TOO MANY, MUFTY ERUPTS IN LOCAL BAR, PAYNE DOES NOT TURN UP AND WHERE THE DEVIL IS DICKIE?

Turbo Tennant is back!! After 3 years without any major incidents and trips to the JPH, Turbo returned in fine fashion last night.  After helpìng himself to one to many vodka red bulls the "deadman walking" collapsed in a drunken state in the local strip club.  What happened is not entirely clear as all the boys saw was Turbo face down on the floor with 4 completly nakid ladies surrounding him and blood squirting out of his face!.  Im sure Tennant thought he had died and gone to heaven!!.  His explanation this morning was that he slipped on the wet floor which led him, to fall face first onto the floor.  Unfortunately he tried to break his fall with his pint of vodka which he was holding but unfortunately this smashed on impact right above his right eye.  This was too much for Mabel who almost pooed himself with laughter and was nearly thrown out.  Blood by the gallons fired all over the place and it soon looked like a slaughter house.  The dancers seemed very concerned for his welfare (the other team members were otherwise engaged)and we are are sure that he played up to the scenerio. The wound would not clot and the dancers called for the local ambulance which rushed to the scene - Turbo was sent to the local docters surgery where he had 6 stiches in his wound and was 300 euros lighter!!  This really ended the night for the Caister Team as we all agreed that the night could not get any better and it was about 5am by then and we had all run out of money.  Another classic night - we can always rely on Turbo to keep us entertained - this is up there with the pier incident!!

The day however did not start as rosy for the boys yesterday as Payne pulled out in the 11th hour as he had to pay his ex girlfriends vet bill.  This led Caister only taking 7 players out which is rather embarrising. Anyway we flew out a hour late from Stansted and arrived in Ibiza at 10:30 - we met French at the hotel and headed staright out. 

Mabel was set up big time last night by older brother with his every single drink being spiked with a ruddy ping pong ball which results in him having to neck the drink.  Fell a bit rought today!  Mufty also was subject to this vicious assult a number of times and erupted like a volcano in one of the bars after necking his third drink in a row.  Unfortunately on the night out we lost Big Dick - where he has gone nobody knows, he went off with 3 black girls who was punting for trade earlier in the night.  I wonder if we will see him again?

DAY 2 - MONDAY 4TH SEPTEMBER 2006

HEADLINES: MABEL STITCHED UP AGAIN WITH THE PING PONG BALLS, THE MIDDLESBROUGH MARES DISMISS HIS A19 CHAT UP LINES & STILL NO SIGN OF BIG DICK

Mabel was the unfortunate victim last night of a viscious attack of ping pong balls in his pints.  He was a complete mess after 2am and was last seen in the corner of soul city talking to a mirror.  He was finally dragged back to the hotel at 5 and bumped into a group of northern girls who were located on the beach. Mufty fancied his chances with all 10 but Mabel ruined his chances with his insitant bragging of his knowledge of the Middlesbrough road network.  The girls were not impressed and the two of them were knocked back a number of times before Mufty was refused entry into their hotel.

Earlier in the day the boys recovered after the night out with another intense session of frisbee which was reminiscent of last years effort with Turbo almost killing Mabel with a 200mph rocket throw which smashed Mabels cranium in two. This was just after Poptart French had powerbombed the fully clad Dangerman to the bottom of the deep blue sea just for the thrill.  Dangerman was not impressed!! and stormed back to the hotel KBJ´esque in Magaluf mode.

After the frisbee session the group spent the rest of the day annoying the posh hotel guests, cleaners, staff, shop owners and looking after Mr San Miguel.  The night out was very hazy - especially after 3am but was another classic Caister tour night out.  The highlight was Murpheys bar which stupidly offered 10 pints of Amstel for 10 euros only - this place was Mabels downfall as after each pint had been poured a ping pong ball was instantly placed in his drink.  Jimmy B was the first to strike with his never ending supply of ping pong balls in his pocket.  It was not a good start for poor Mabel and things were soon to get so much worse.  Upon necking the drink and pouring a fresh pint Poptart French somehow managed to throw a ball 88 yards across the crowded bar staright into Mabels pint - it was a million to one shot, but French´s endless hours of practice pre tour paid off.

After this Mabel was with the fairies and cannot remember anything.  After this apparently the team headed back to soul city where Mufty went on grope everything mode a la Magaluf day one.  Once again however he failed to find that elusive dolly to allow him to forfill his Magaluf mission - now the San Antonio ambition.

Still no sign of Big Dick, I hope he turns up on Wednesday for the cricket.

DAY 3 - TUESDAY 5TH SEPTEMBER 2006

Headlines: Dangerman follows through in carting crash, Turbo reunited with watch & the team spend all their tour money in the local strip bar - Dickie finally found in the corner of the strip club in a gimp suit barking like a dog!!

Today Jimmy B outdone Turbo Tennant´s smashed face incident as nature forced its presence in spectacular style at the San Antonio go carting  centre.  Jimmy, Poptart, Bick Dick, Mabel and Teddy Cool ventured out to the wildnerness to compete in one of the most sought after events on this holiday.  There was first a warm up session which Pies only just managed to complete - he was actually going slower than he runs which is I know is hard to imagine but is honestly true.  After the warm up event it was decided that a Caister Carting Challenge was paramount.  The race was set up and tension filled the arena.  The locals gathered to watch and began to chant for their favourite contender.  Big Dick, Big Dick, Big Dick could be heard for miles around.  The boys got onto the track and set up in their starting positions.  GO GO GO GO was the call and it was all action as the 5 smashed into each other trying to get the pole position.  Teddy stormed out on front with Jimmy and Poptart tailing him close behind.  Mabel was stuck behind the Big Dick who took up all the road with his driving Miss Daisy type of go-carting.  Mabel soon found a way out of this as he went full speed into Big Dick at the second corner which left Dickie spinning and Mabel chuckling his way into 4th.  Unfortunately Mabel then had his famous concentration issues and was amazingly caught by the rejunivated Pies who began driving like Alonso.  Up the front end the other three were still dodging in and out of the lead until Jimmy went a bit far.  He decided to drive without breaking and spun out of control at the last corner - he was down and out with no sign of help.  After being lapped 3 times by all drivers he tried to pay catch up with some outrageous driving especially on the home straight where he had earlier mentioned that he had mastered the corner.  This time however things went horribly wrong for the oldest Kerrison.  He steamed down the home straight after Mabel and forgot to break at the crucial last minute.  He hit the curb and took off like a jumbo jet but unfortunately crashed like a concorde into the tree - the screaming was horrendous.  The crowd went silent and then there was a gurgling from the crash site - what the noise was no one knew but he was ok and he strode back to the pits to gather his thoughts and hang his head in shame after finishing last behind Dickie and Mabel who was driving a bit more conservative than the others.  Poptart actuallly won the race with him smashing Teddy into the tyre wall on the last corner which left Teddy fuming and Poptart happy as larry.  As the boys strode back to the local cafe after the race the group could smell something rather strange but could not put their finger on what it was.  Then it suddenly became apparent what that gurgling noise was earlier on - The Dangermans shorts were soiled and poo was leaking down his legs. Jimmy panicked and the whole crowd were in fits of laughter.  The skid mark was bigger than the ones left on the course and he then spent the next hour in the toilet cleaning himself up and trying to hide his unforrtunate accident.  What else can I say - it was truely fantastic and the highlight of the week so far, unfortunately there is no photographic evidence of the event but the memories are cystal clear and im sure this will go down in Caister CC folklore.

That night the boys headed out again to San An rather quiet knowing that the night out could never beat the pooing incident.  However, the night out was close as firstly Turbo found his watch which he had lost on the first night.  He was adament that the docters who stictched him up had infact stitched him up by selling his watch which was soon to be found not to be the case.  It was actually found in his favourite bar - Temptations - the local strip club!!!  Upon this the boys went in for a quick drink and were planning to go to the bar opposite.  3 hours and 400 euros later the boys left the place with no money left but with massive grins - particularly Big Dick who spent all night upstairs having lesbian shows and private dances - Brimmy will be so proud.  Upon leaving here the boys headed down to Soul City for some unique Jimmy B DJ dancing and so more drinks.  At 4 am Mabel (who didnt drink that night due to a irratible bowel) Turbo, Teddy and Poptart went back, leaving the other three in the west end.  Poptart French was completly off his tree and could barely talk, and what he did made no sense which is nothing new for him.

The others finally got back at 6 fully prepared for tomorrows cricket match - well not quite. I wonder if they will do well?

DAY 4 - WEDNESDAY 6TH SEPTEMBER 2006

HEADLINES: CAISTER BEATEN AFTER ONLY 14 OVERS AGAINST IBIZA CC & THE TEAM DROWN THEIR SORROWS DOWN THE WEST END OF SAN AN TILL 7AM. BIG DICK GETS ANOTHER PRIVATE DANCE. 

After last nights antics the boys were up nice and early preparing for todays cricket game.  Jimmy Danger was particularly pumped for the game and was a picture of health!!.  After finally managing to drag him out of bed at 12 the boys headed to the ground.  What was to greet them at the ground was not good.  It looked as though Ibiza CC were taking this as a International game and were enjoying a very intense practise session.  At the sight of this Jimmy B headed to the toilet and emptied his disfunctional bowel once again.  The smell was truely horrific and it was not the ideal preparation for the group.

Now to the game!  Teddy lost the toss and Caister CC were invited to bat first which they appreciated considering the intense heat.  Jimmy opened with Mabel and they both started ok.  Unfortunately however they were both soon gone by some umpiring even KBS would of been proud of!!  Both brothers were given out LBW by balls which were going for wides and particularly Jimmy was not happy - Mabel being the most unluckiest batsman in the world is used to these decisons so just accepted it as the gentleman he is.  In between the Kerrison's wickets Poptart French had also been dismissed with quite possibly the worst shot ever played by a Caister player.  The bowler (no quicker than Norman Johnson) came in and bowled a good length delivery.  Poptart in ultra slog mode stepped 4 yards outside leg and played a windmill type shot (not as visually pleasing as a wind turbine) which he completed mistimed to straight to mid on.  This description does not do the shot justice as it was truely horrific and you could see the anger in Teddy's face as Poptart walked back to the pavilion.  After the loss of the top 3 Caister were about 40 off 10 overs. The run rate seemed ok but they needed to consolidate wicket wise.  In came Teddy and a Ibiza CC player who we had borrowed for the day (Shall call him IB1).  IB1 took the attack to the bowlers with some big true hitting whilst Teddy at the other end played as Teddy does.  After a few lusty blows IB1 was dismissed and this brought 50 cent/ Billy Joe aka Mufty to the crease. Mufty no mug with the bat on his day played a delightful chinese cut for 4 on a his second ball before he played back and across to a yorker next over and got bowled.  Oh dear Caister were running out of batsmen!!  All the responsibility was on Teddy to score big. For a few overs we saw a new Teddy - one which looked comfortable at the crease and he looked the part, perhaps the added responsibility had changed him.  Unfortunately though after hitting three fours in three balls he done a Mabel and lost it.  He thought that it was god damn too easy and lollied a sweep straight to mid wicket for a solid 27.  That was not what the doctor ordered!!  In came Julian who was also a borrowed player from Ibiza CC.  Despite constant jibes from the Ibiza CC players he managed to last a few balls before he was caught.  Caister were in big trouble.  But Dickie fresh from his lap dances came in and we were all praying for a North Elmham innings.  After seeing all that body last night Dickie's head was elsewhere and he too was soon bowled.  Caister by this time had only reached a 100 off 25 overs and the 'par' score of 220 seemed very distant.  We were hoping for a miracle when Tennant and Koko (another borrowed Ibiza player) joined each other in the middle.  Unfortunately this did not materilise as Caister were bolwed out for 115.

The troops were tired and frustrated at tea.  What they needed was a boost of confidence from the captain which would rally the players to a unlikely victory. They needed a historic speech like Martin Luther King's or Winston Churchill's, something to get the tingles down the back of their spines...something to make them fight for their lives and for the historic village of Caister-On-Sea.  What did they get at tea from Teddy however, 'this will be a good one to win boys'.  Not quite the pick up the troops needed!!

Anyway Caister went out to field in the 40 degrees heat hoping to get some quick wickets to put some pressure on the Ibiza batsman.  Things did not go well with both Pies and Dangerman getting tonked all over the show.  Dickie did however pick up a wicket in his sceond over which was a brief moment of joy for the Caister team.  After 4 overs Ibiza had blasted their way to 50/1 and things were about to get worse!!  Crash Bang Whallop - the ball went to all parts with both Turbo and Teddy unable to stop the flow of runs.  After 10 overs Ibiza were 90/1 and the Caister heads were down.  Teddy mixed the bowling up to no avail until the scores were level when IB1 had the opening batsmen (who is a Spainsh International) caught in the covers by Mabel.  Next over it was all over however and the Caister team trundled back to the changing room to be met by the lingering smell of the Dangermans deposits.  It was not a nice feeling!!.  Was there any words of comfort from the skipper of the day??  Yes, ' I scored the highest score hence I done my job.  I blame everybody else'  Thanks, Teddy.

After the match the boys headed back to the hotel to gather their thoughts and to prepare themselves for drowning their sorrows down the West End later that night.  Once back it was decided that the boys should go and watch the sunset down near Cafe del Mar and get a highly thought of curry at the Curry Club close to the bar.  Unfortunately there was too much cloud cover to see the sun sink into the sea but the team made up for that by staring at the endless supply of beauties on the beach.  They then headed off to the curry club to fight the hunger.  Unfortunately the curry was not to the standard indicated before my Mabel and French and the team moped to the nearest bar to watch the England football game on TV.

After the game the boys headed straight out down the streets of San An and enjoyed a number of vodka and red bulls once again.  The cricket earlier had knocked the stuffing out of Tennant and Teddy as they headed home at one for a early shower.  The rest of the group ventured in almost every bar and rather surprisingly they were'dragged' back into Temptations.  In here Pies once again had another dance!! whilst the others enjoyed a leisurely drink.  After this the boys headed to Soul City for a drink and some dj disc scatching dancing from Jimmy Danger.  At 6am the boys headed back to the hotel a bit drunk.  It was another good night, it was a pity that the cicket went so badly though. 

DAY 5 - THURSDAY 7TH SEPTEMBER 2006

HEADLINES: TURBO TENNANT TAKES A BEATING AT BING BONG BOUNCE AND IS PHYSICALLY DRAGGED OUT OF THE CLUB AT 6AM FOR DRIBBLING AT THE GIRLS, POPTART FRENCH STORMS OFF IN A HUFF AFTER A FLYING CHICKEN BREAST HITS HIM IN THE CHEST AND MUFTY EXPLODES IN ANGER AFTER 2 GIRLS REFUSE HIS ADVANCES AND HE FINDS NOWHERE IN SAN ANTONIO TO GO DOGGING!! ALSO BEACH FRISBEE SESSION SEES MABEL NEARLY KILLING HALF THE GERMAN POPULATION IN IBIZA!

We all thought that Sunday´s night exploits could not be outdone by Mr Tennant but he somehow managed to do it and in some style!!  I will start at the beginning and build this up a bit because this needs to be done to fully appreciate what a legend he is.  The day was hot, the birds were singing on a bright sunny day at the lovely resort of San Antonio, Ibiza.  Caister CC woke up and had a lesuirely day playing frisbee on the beach, nothing major happened - Mabel tried to kill some German old biddies with his 100mph frisbee rockets but thats got to be expected when the loose cannon is about.  Apart from that  as I have said nothing really happened to my recolection but Tennant however has just informed me that the day was spent just staring at the semi nakid beauties on the beach - particularly two french foxes!  The boys wound down having a lovely meal at the Hotel and there was no thought that tonight could be one of those special nights which are the makings of Caister CC.  The boys headed to the West End of San An and were picked up on their way by our favourite little PR girl who invited us to the Amsterdam bar, Turbo Tennant agreed and we headed straight there- this was Tennant first and most vital  mistake of the night.  Once there the boys were giving 3 jugs of vodka and red bull and numerous free drinks, then the suggestion of the bing bong bounce game came to the forefront.  The boys did not need any persuassion and it started.  Unfortunately things did not go to plan for Tennant as he was set upon by the group and was soon necking jugs of vodka.  Things were getting messy for the deadman and the boys went in for the kill!  3 hours later and after necking 8 triple vodka and red bulls and numourous other drinks Tennant was in the land of no return. The bing bong bounce game had ruined him and he was sat on his chair laughing his head off at any word which was spoken.  Any good freinds would of taken him home and looked after him, he was out with Caister CC however and the team could sense another special night.  Somehow he staggered to the next bar (hogans) with the other members and some Preston girls who were enjoying his company.  40 shots were purchased and another pint of vodka red bull.  Turbo lent up againt the bar and smiled in appreciation.  Mabel  then rushed upstairs to relieve himself after too much laughter, Tennant however at this point flipped, he stormed up the stairs crackling with laughter and followed Mabel to the toilet.  He then proceeeded to boot at the toilet door screaming with laughter.  After the 6 boot his foot went through the door and ended up near mabel´s nose.  After 10 minutes we finally managed to free Tennats foot and took him downstairs to finish off the remaining 38 shots.  Tennant was out of control!!  He then became a little hungry and decided that KFC was not to his liking any more, what was more appealing was the nice and tender ping pong ball which was in his pint.  He then spent the next 40 minutes at the bar munching the ball to a pulp and swallowing it in one.  Its fair to say his stomach did not appreciate this.  Turbo Tennant even though he cannot remember going to this bar is adament he was not sick but the soon to be published photo of sick with a crushed ping pong ball in hogans toilets may prove otherwise (just like his watch incident).  The boys then headed to Soul City for a bit of bumping and grinding.  This is where Turbo Tennant took it up another level!!  After a few more drinks and after cutting some shapes on the dancefloor Tennat found his beauty and started to regularly touch her bum. It is unclear to this reporter what exactly happened after this but eye witness accounts have stated that he was grabbed from his leaning on the wall, put in a headlock and thrown out of the club.  He did not go quietly!! His arms were flapping and he was screaming like a pig, he knocked 4 girls out with his flaying arms and another ping pong ball came flying out of his mouth which partially blinded one bouncer.  The rest of the team were ejected from the club and barely could control their laughter.  Turbo Tennant was not only back but had truely outdone himself once again.  The boys looked at the bloody mess slumped on the road and were in awe of the great man.  A living legend had truely been born again and he was now not only Norfolk known but Internationally known - everybody now knows the Mr. Chris Tennant here and are counting down the days for next years tour. His is known as a Ibiza legend!!

Also on the night out I forgot to mention that poptart French was also a casuality of the bing bong bounce game.  He also drunk gallons of the poison and was a mess although not up to Turbo´s standards.  In Hogans he became rather agressive and proceeded to punch mabels arms which no longer move (thats down to dickies antics on Sat nite also).  After losing to Mabel at a arm wrestle Poptart flipped and stormed off for a KFC with Big Dick.  After enjoying his lovely food something sinister occured, a random girl picked a bit of his eaten chicken and threw it at him. It hit him in the chest and this was too much for the poptart, he flipped big time and stormed home in a sulk screaming to anybody who would listen ´she threw a chicken at me´. Poor old French, he is stuck in the 80´s.

Finally there was one other minor incident on the night out.  Mufty totally flipped when two girls would not let him sleep with them and blamed the world for his misfortune - particularly mabel who put in a tactical smelly fart when he was 100% in.  He did not appreciate this and went on the rampage.  After moaning for a good 3 hours he fell asleep and Mabel got out of his hiding place and went to bed.

All in all it was one hell of a day.  Can this ever be beaten?  Send your answers on a postcard to Mr Chris Tennant, The Ibiza legend, The Grange, Ormesby, Great Yarmouth.

DAY 6 - FRIDAY 8TH SEPTEMBER 2006

HEADLINES: CAISTER LOSE BY 5 WICKETS AGAINST NATIONWIDE HOUSE CC AFTER POSTING 215. TURBO IS CLOSE TO DEATH AND THE BOYS FAIL TO RELIGHT THE WEST END. MUFTY AND BIG DICK GO OUT HOWEVER AND HAVE RANDOM PHOTO´S TAKEN WITH THE MINGERS TO LOOK LIKE THEY PULLED WHILST ON HOLIDAY. IT NEVER HAPPENED THOUGH!!

As the team woke up this morning there was a feeling that the holiday could not get any better and a few even contemplated getting the next plane back to England, just not to spoil their memories.  Upon seeing Turbo crawling out of his room and the realisation that he would have to bowl in the intense heat today however swayed the team to stay just a little bit longer.  After all today was a 15 over slog game against Nationwide House (another touring team) and most of the Caister players had been practising their KP style of batting all summer (mainly Ted) just for this game.

For some unkown reason when the boys got back at 7am this morning (smashed) it was decided to play frisbee on the beach at 10am, I think it was to meet some Preston girls.  Anyway after having 2 1/2 hours sleep the team minus Mufty headed to the beach to sober up and to try and play some good old fahioned frisbee.  Unfortunately Mabel's radar was once again well out and he soon cleared the sea of any Germans once again.  Turbo as usual was the star whilst the others were watching and waiting for the nothern girls. By 11:30 they still had not arrived so the team headed back to get ready for the cricket.  The taxi's picked us up at 12 and we arrived at the ground at 12:30 to face another bombshell!!  The game had been switched from a 15 over slog to a 35 International game, upon hearing this Jimmy once again headed to the toilet!!

Teddy won the toss (I think) and elected to bat first.  He opened with French and French was soon gone playing another wonderful shot!!  Im not sure what shot he played as i was collpased on the floor, but i bet it was like the shot he played against Ibiza CC.  Next in was Bob who was the Ibiza Vicar who kindly agreed to play for us today.  He and Teddy batted 'lovely' together with the two smashing the ball to all parts.  You could see that the Nationwide players were not enjoying it and the Caister/ Ibiza team were hoping 4 a big score from these two. Bob soon reached his 50 after 17 overs and he was closely joined by Teddy who was a picture of health.  Bob was soon dismissed after his 50 howver and this brought in Jimmy B who I dont think realised that it had changed to 35 over game as he proceeded to try and straight six everyball!!.  Rather unsurprisingly he was soon gone caught on the boundary by a rather fortunate catch - the fielder was not looking at the ball and he just threw a hand out and the ball stuck.  Teddy (remember the captain)  retired soon after Jimmy's wicket which once again highlighted his weaknesses of captaincy - surely he should of gone on and put the game out of Nationwide's reach!!  but no he thought more about his average. Some Ibiza CC players were then given the chance to shine and they batted reasonably well. After a few wickets fell Caister were given the final umph by Mabel/ Pies & Tennant which pushed Caister up to 215 which seemed a very competitive total.

Opening the bowling for Caister were Tennant (who was definately looking like a deadman walking) and Mufty.  The bowlers however could not keep the Nationwide batsmen on a leash and they were soon cutting down Caisters total.  Teddy resigned the captaincy after not showing up for the first 5 overs (apparently he was working his average out in the changing rooms) and Jimmy took over.  Despite various changes of bowlers Caister could not keep the run rate down and despite a couple of wickets falling which included a run out by Ted!!! Nationwide in the end ran out easy winners by 6 wickets with about 2 overs to go.  A special mention must go to Turbo Tennant who rather unfortunately bowled 7 overs straight, up the hill in the 40 degrees heat.  Its fair to say he was not a picture of health and the noises he was making in the field were truely terrifying.  One could forgive him then for the dire catch he dropped in the closing stages of the game.  Instead of swallowing a simple dolly at mid wicket, he launched himself forward at the ball and proceeded to palm it round the post for a corner a la Robert Green.  Poor old Turbo picked himself whilst making a rhinourous sound knowing that this drop would be costly - he would now have to neck another drink tonight!

After the game the team headed back to the hotel to get ready for another night out.  After having their food and a little power nap the team headed out to the west end at 12 minus Teddy. Unfortunately though the cricket game and the severe lack of sleep had well and truely caught up with the majority of the players and they headed back at 1am for some much needed rest.  Mufty and Pies however however had other ideas and they stayed out till 6am, partying in Soul City and Es Paradis. 

DAY 7 - SATURDAY 9TH SEPTMEBER 2006

HEADLINES: THE AWARD CEREMONY GOES EXCEPTIONALLY WELL WITH TEDDY MAKING A ´LOVELY¨ SPEACH, THE BOYS GO OUT WITH A BANG IN THE WEST END WITH MABEL HITTING THE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON AFTER NECKING 20 SHOTS IN HOGANS. THE BOYS HEAD TO EDEN AND ES PARADIS WHERE THEY GO SWIMMING TILL 6AM AT THE WATER PARTY. MABEL GETS LOST IN THE CLUB AND ENDS UP AT THE HOTEL TO FIND A SMILING MUFTY WHO HAD FOUND HIS DOGGING PARADISE DOWN THE ROAD.  THE REST OF THE TEAM WALKED BACK SOAKED TO THE BONE WITH FACE PAINT ON.

The team woke up at 10am again today and headed straight to the beach for some hotty hunting and watersports.  As quick as a flash the frisbee came out and as soon as the frisbee flew into Mabel's hands the whole beach cleared!!.  The beach soon steadily filled up again but you could still see the terror in the people's faces when Mabel wound up for a big throw.  He is a danger to the human kind with a frisbee in his hands!!.After a couple of hours of fun in the sun the boys split with a few nutters trying 'paragliding' (Jimmy, Pies, Poptart and Teddy) while the others went for some much needed food.  After both events the group congregated in the local pub to watch the football results come through.  Unsurprisingly Norwich lost and the majority of the group moped to their rooms to sulk.

After a few hours of crying and sleeping the group met up at 7pm to head to the end of tour award ceremony located in the heart of San An.  Once at the restaurant the boys relaxed and waited for their food.  The food shall we say was not up to the high  KFC standard the boys had been used to all tour and Poptart, Pies and Jimmy were all close to tears when they saw that their steak pouring with blood. The lamb was top so I had no complaints.  After the meal, the presentation started and Teddy began to feel rather uncormfortable and the smell from his corner was like raw sewage.  He strode up however and made a wonderful speech by all accounts although I dont think anybody heard a word of what he said.  He just mumbled about a load of rubbish.  We did however manage to make out that he openly took all the praise from Ibiza CC for the novel signed shirt we gave them as a touring gift  but did not hesistate to blame Mabel for a minor spelling mistake on Nationwide House signed shirt.  DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!.  Soon after the presentation the boys said their goodbyes and thank you's and headed to the strip for the last big night.  It was going to be messy!!!

First stop off was the Amsterdam Bar and the Vodka and red bulls were piled up on the table.  After about 6 triples each of the lethal drink the team were super energised and ready to hit the bottle hard.  Next stop was the Australian bar Hogans which was just down the strip.  More pints of Vodka Red Bull were purchased and 40 shots of gue were given free with the drinks.  By this time Teddy and Jimmy were smashed and spent the next 2 hours DJ Scratching thin air and dancing like mentalists.  Somehow Mabel managed to drink nearly 30 of the shots himself and this was something he was going to regret within the next few hours.  In Hogans the Caister team met some of the Nationwide House team and duly placed ping pong balls in their drinks to get them in the mood for clubbin and to make them feel welcome in the presence of such superstars.  At 3am the team were thrown out but not before they had face paint drawn all over their faces to help them 'pull' later in the night.

The team then headed towards the super club Es Paridis where they had been given free tickets by the president of Ibiza CC (Thanks if you are reading!!).  Tonight was a 'water party' and the boys were particularly looking forward to getting drenched in the club - unfortunately Tennant forgot his frisbee though which was prehaps a good thing as Mabel was present.  Before entering Es Paradis the players went into the pre club bar for another quick drink.  By this time they had downed a fair bit of drink and some more than others were slightly feeling it.  This included Mabel who for some unknown reason was picked on by the big bully brown bear who proceeded to pummel his pounding paws into Mabels arms - to try and give him a dead arm.  Whilst poor old Mufty was also targeted as he and the rest of the bar was exposed to the 'MUFTY SONG' which was shouted out by the rest of the team for about 20 minutes.  Not sure but we have been chucked out then so we headed towards Es Paradis.  On our way we were stopped in our tracks and invited to go next door to Eden for free!!!  The boys needed no second invitation and headed into the massive club.  I actually have no recollection of being in this pace so I cannot possibly comment on what this place was like, full of fit horny spanish flies I think.  Did anyone pull one??.  After about a hour I guess the group then headed next door to EsParadis for a good soaking.

In Es paradis the team congregated on the dancefloor and danced endlessly patiantly waiting for the water to start.  Unfortunatley there were some casulaities who did not manage to last the distance.  Number one was Teddy who was an emotional mess after his speech earlier in the evening and just had to go home to rest his head.  It was about 4am by this time however so it was a late one for Teddy. The other culprit was Mabel who could not see.  Too be fair he was completly gone and after falling down the 10 steps leading towards the dancefloor and taking 15 people out on the floor he decided it was time to go home.  Unfortunately there was a problem!!  The bouncers had shut Mabel in and there was no way out!! Well thats what I thought as I walked round the club about a million times.  Mabel finally found the exit and went staright back to the hotel.....I think.  Soon after this the water started and the dance floor turned into a mini swimming pool with the water coming up to waist high.  The remaining members thought that it was fantastic and loved every minute of it.  The club finished at 6am and the group walked back to the hotel soaked to the bone.  It was a tip top night and one for the scrap book.

DAY 8 - SUNDAY 10TH SEPTEMBER 2006

HEADLINES: TEAM TRY TO SURVIVE AFTER GOING OUT WITH A BANG, FLIGHT LEAVES ON TIME AND THEY GET BACK HOME AT 2AM, REFRESHED AND COUNTING THE DAYS DOWN TILL NEXT YEARS TOUR

After last nights heroics some if not all of the team were suffering, particularly Mabel who was still steaming drunk.  Somehow everyone managed to get up and pack their bags and check out of the rooms at 12.  The team congregated in the foyer and decided to all go for one last breakfast around the corner.  All except Mabel who suddenly 'hit the wall' and collapsed in reception struggling to live.  After the breakfast the rest of the group came back to the hotel and the players enjoyed a team sleep.  After several hours sleep one by one the team work and prepared themselves for the flight home.  At 5pm the coach picked us up and took us to the airport.  Thankfully this year there were no delays and the plane took off at 9pm local time to home sweet home.  The plane arrived shortly after 11:30 and the team made their merry way home after a another very successful tour and already dreaming of nexts year tour.